It's Official

No more we suspect ... or there is a history of ... or most likely she has ....  Yesterday, the geneticist diagnosed my 7 year old daughter with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), and depending on a few measurements that need to be confirmed from her birth records, she may be upgraded to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).  There really is very little difference between the two; the latter has more facial anomalies.  We always had heard the stories that her birth mother was "falling down drunk" as we moved through different departments of the government, such as WIC and DSS, but it seemed strange to us and the doctors that Goldilock's younger brother (Tom Sawyer) showed no effects of alcohol; and just the opposite, he is very bright and growing like a weed (whereas FASD children have trouble growing).  Because of her brother's success, in the past the doctors felt that, although she may be labeled with FASD some day, it was more likely that her environment had been so poor and abusive in infancy.  They believed that once she was on the healing path from RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), her development, academics, and behavior would catch up.  She is considered to be somewhat healed from RAD; but her behavior is still very unpredictable, processing is very slow, and academics are coming out poor on tests (as if I didn't already know that).  Recently, she tested again with an IQ in the high 70's, and now her growth has slowed down a great deal.  She hasn't changed shoe sizes or clothing sizes in 2 years, but has grown a bit taller.  So we went back to the doctors for another evaluation.


In some ways, I feel relieved and in other ways devastated.  My little girl really is bonded to us and knows and wants us as her parents.  I figure it took her 5 years and so many hours of therapy to get her here.  This is great news.  However, FASD is permanent brain damage, and there is no recovering from or healing from it.  There is only learning how to live with it and helping her meet her full potential within it.  I knew in my heart that this was coming for a long time but it is still hard to digest.  This new diagnosis means that she most likely will qualify for CAP, a program that provides a one-on-one to help her with school, behavior management, and so on.  This is great since all mental health support is drying up rapidly in this state.  It also means more books to read and a new support group to join, which may afford me more tricks of the trade.


I am not at all new to raising complicated children and searching out and finding the gifts God has bestowed upon my little ones.  I have been raising complicated children for 18 years now.  My big teen is meeting his God-given potential and turning into a wonderful young man (who will always need support on the home front), despite dire predictions that he would only be able to function in a group home/institution.  So we embark on this new path with our Goldilocks.


Please pray that we will find the right support and answers to help our little girl ... that she will meet her fullest possible potential ... that we will continue to see her grow and develop ... that we will find her true gifts and figure out how to help her bring them to life.


A side note ~ The geneticist begged me to never put her into public school! She said that public school would destroy her fragile self-worth, which we have worked so hard to achieve. She said Goldilocks was so blessed to be homeschooled and that I should never give up and think that the school system could do better.  No worries there ....





Blessings, Dawn