We have had a crazy two weeks. It started with a local doctor appointment to check Timothy's surgical wounds. When she removed the Steri-Strips from his newest surgical site, she found it badly infected. Within a matter of hours we were told that Tim needed to return to Duke and may need more surgery. It was a rushed trip across state with two cars. David (husband) went ahead with Tim, while I tried to put a few things in place for Elijah, who was remaining home. Rebekah hurriedly finished the last of her packing for the dance competition she was supposed to be at in less than 24 hours and joined me in the second car.
Tim was admitted to Duke and the doctors were instantly baffled. His infection was only skin deep. It hadn't affected the muscle (that was in plain view because the wound was wide open), nor had it affected the pacemaker, pacemaker pocket, his blood or heart. With the level of infection they were seeing, they would have expected the infection to have spread to some or all of the other areas. After two days, their conclusion was that Tim, who has a serious adhesive allergy, had reacted to the Steri-Strips which have a minute amount of adhesive in them. This had never been an issue in the past or even in his first January surgery, because all of his previous surgeries were done by a pediatric cardiac surgeon (because of his congenital status), and they always put an extra barrier between the Steri-Strips and the stitches because kids are so rough on their bodies. Adult cardiac surgeons usually skip that step in adults. This was Tim's very first surgery ever with an adult cardiac surgeon. As you can imagine, there are some very large notes being added to his medical chart.
Once we were assured that Tim was not going to need surgery, Rebekah and I proceeded to Atlanta for the dance competition. She missed the first day with graded classes, but she made it in time for the three dances she intended to compete. Rebekah really didn't enjoy the competition style of performing. It was very anxiety producing for her and she even had a small panic attack before one of the dances. I think the combination of feeling unprepared, a lack of experience with competitions or solos (in which you are completely alone on stage), a terrible dance floor that even the judges were complaining about, the stress our family was going through, the cattiness of some of the more experienced girls, and the in-your-face reality that almost no dancers achieve a professional career all collided and made for a very emotional weekend. She actually did pretty well according to her teachers and myself. I think her years of performance training kicked in and she pushed through. But it was the most emotional experience she has ever experienced when it comes to dance.
David stayed with Timothy the entire time he was in the hospital. Timothy was released from the hospital after two days and was able to come home to complete his recovery. He now has a visiting nurse who comes in two times a week to look at the wound and change the bandages. We change the bandages ourselves on the other days. Hopefully, this merely will be a memory in another few weeks. I will also take Tim to Greensboro during the next week to see his cardiologist in a clinic that is about an hour closer to home.
Lessons Learned ~ You know how they say you learn more from adversity than from the easy days? I do think that is true most of the time.
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| Rebekah in her classical variations costume |
- Rebekah reinforced in her mind that family is much more important to her than a full-time professional career in dance. She was told by one teacher to snap out of it and forget about her family's troubles. That teacher went on to say that she danced the day her mother died, because the show must go on and that Rebekah needed to have the same attitude. Rebekah was totally shocked and dismayed. Her teacher said ballerinas are a type of "freak of nature." Rebekah does not want to become one of those.
- Rebekah realized that none of this is worth it if it doesn't bring her happiness and that she must find a path that brings her joy.
- She was reminded that there are multiple ways to be part of the dance world and the larger, more glamourous ways are not necessarily the best fit for her.
- At the end of the day, she wants to dance, she wants to perform, she wants to feel joy again (this entire school year has been a bit joyless while desperately trying to catch up in ballet technique), she would prefer to not leave home or Asheville in the next year or two (at least) and she is missing contemporary dance.
- Elijah held down the house successfully for a few days. He took care of the cats and stayed completely alone with just a quick daily check-in with Grandma.
- I was reminded how much I like the "little city" feel of a hospital and that I might want to look at a career in the hospital when I am ready to work outside the home in the future.
- Of course, we learned so much more about adhesive allergies and wound care.
