Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Strange Questions About Homeschooling and Adoption

This is my response to many blessings blog hop.

It sometimes amazes me the questions people ask or statements they make!  I try to ignore the rudeness of some of the questions I get.  My skin is pretty thick from years of sticking out like a sore thumb ~ born cross-eyed, learning challenges in school, epilepsy as a child, having my first child years earlier than the norm, raising special needs kids and homeschooling ~ yep, I've always been different.  I try to take each question or statement as an educational moment for everyone involved.  That's what life is, right, an education? 

1) Do you think everyone should homeschool?  No, especially not the folks who cry when their kids come home for summer break or the folks who say they would rather kill themselves than stay home with their kids!  On the other hand, some homeschoolers say staying home with their kids is perfect and wonderful and great every minute.  I would have to disagree.  I LOVE being home with my kids, BUT it is hard sometimes.  Those days go much more easily if you love learning and teaching and are truly committed to this lifestyle.

2) Are you going to homeschool forever?  Um, I would love to, but the kids are going to have to graduate someday.  I must admit that I worry sometimes about what I will do when the kids are grown up.  Maybe, I will open that homeschool store or giant homeschool resource center that lives in my daydreams.  Okay, maybe I will homeschool forever.  (LOL)

3) Do you get snow days?  No, snow days are winter science days.  We do, however, get days off for "Mom is going crazy because the house is so messy".  Of course, that doesn't mean the day is OFF -- it means everyone gets to pitch in to clean up.

4) Does your family go on vacations? Well, that would depend on whom in my family you asked.  My oldest says, "We go on overnight, educational field trips".  He said that with delight in his voice.  I would say that we go on vacations like everyone else, but we tend to see everything in life as a learning opportunity, so we are naturally drawn to museums, zoos and historical sites.

5) Will you homeschool my child or (addressed to my kids) will your Mom homeschool me?  My kids and I get this more often than you might think. Some people are serious.  What a nice compliment.  We love to have people over for special homeschool events.

Our next five questions are in regards to adoption. Many of them are rude and shocking.

6) How much did you pay for them?  No one ever asks what the out of pocket costs of childbirth are after insurance!  However, I try to answer their curiosity in case they think adoption is too expensive.  We adopted through foster care so the cost was zero dollars.  In fact, our children came with a small monthly allowance to help offset their medical care because of their special needs.

7) Did you have a hard time finding white kids to adopt?  My jaw drops every time someone asks me this question.  My husband and I were raised in a large metropolitan area which was a melting pot of races and blended families. The truth is, we never thought much about race.  We were much more concerned with how young a child we could get.  We wanted a baby and they said that was very rare.  We did state that we would be willing to take special needs if it would increase our chances of getting a baby.  Tom Sawyer was the very first child DSS called us about on our very first day of being licensed.  He was two days old and very special needs.  His biological sister came along a few months later when she was 20 months old.  It just so happens that they are white.

8) Did you know your kids were special needs before adopting them and, if so, why did you do it?  I get this from strangers on down to people who we see on a regular basis and know our kids.  I am never sure if this is to suggest that we wanted to be saints or that we are just plain crazy.  The truth is, we knew they were special needs before they entered our home.  We did it because we wanted to grow our family and we knew we felt capable of caring for special children.  Yes, I do feel crazy some days.  No, I never do anything to be seen as a saint, nor do I qualify as a saint in any way. 

9) Why didn't you give them back (when you got pregnant with your "own" or realized "how" special needs they were)?  Shockingly, we have gotten this from all walks of life, including one of my husband's relatives.  The answer is ~ They were ours from the moment they were placed in our arms.  They may have been foster kids for 2 years in our home, but they were ours ~ forever, for always, no matter what.  People do not assume that we would give away the children that grew in my womb because of special needs.  Why should we give away the children who had grown in our hearts?  I can't help but wonder what is behind the thought process of people asking such a question.  I can only assume they don't consider adopted children as being equal to children born from my body!

10) How do you do it?  One day at a time!  We don't expect perfection or to get it all done.  No one is getting it all done!!  We just strive for love, peace, learning, fun, full stomachs and a good night's sleep as many days as possible.  Life is a journey.  We concentrate on the moments of our lives instead of the end goal.

These questions are response to many blessings blog hop.

Blessings, Dawn


  1. I get crazy questions with adopting my daughter also. We had the craziest homeschool comment this week. I just posted about it on my blog.

    Have a blessed week

  2. I love this post, Dawn. You are doing well here to continue educating many.
    It is amazing what comes out of some folks' mouths, but your responses are filled with grace and maturity.

  3. I am almost never shocked at the questions our family gets anymore - but yours, wow, I'd be shocked to hear those!

    You are a BLESSING - and a shining example of how to be a light to a world that doesn't know about adoption and about Christ's love! :)

  4. Great post, Dawn! On question #2, I can see you opening a homeschool resource center. I know it would be amazing! Um, I believe I'm guilty of asking you question #5! And question #9 makes me feel physically ill. I've been asked that question before (by a psychologist, no less!) and it shocked me so much that I couldn't say a word in response!

  5. I thought what people said to me were shocking...but they are nothing to what you have heard. You have answered each one beautifully.

  6. My goodness. I would never even begin to think of asking questions like that!

  7. I love the answers to the questions about homeschooling. I get "will you homeschool me" a lot! The questions about adoption just blew my mind. And I don't get my mind blown about people's ignorance very often. You just rock Dawn!

  8. Oh wow - those questions shocked me! You were very gracious to answer on here questions that, seemingly, are on others minds!!

    Thanks for your kind comment on my blog earlier!