I feel like I have been dragging and weepy for weeks. I know lots of my emotions are tied up in our estranged daughter's transition into adulthood. Goldilocks turns 18 three days after Christmas. We will start the new year without any legal responsibility for her. That is a relief in the respects of not having to jump through tons of hoops that her doctors, case workers and teachers demand. Their demands are often misplaced, confusing, conflict each other and are unhelpful to Goldilocks or to the rest of us. Meanwhile, Goldilocks has cut us off completely. She even managed to avoid her IEP meeting last week so my husband was not able to see her at school. This is so typical of RAD and FASD young adults. I have heard about young adults disappearing for months or even years at a time. This is such a painful journey!
One would think that this would be the time to hunker down and try to stay the course. It is definitely not the time to start new goals. Or is it? I have found time and time again that making a change when things are crazy often takes hold the best in our family, for some reason. This time, I am making a personal goal to lose a bit of weight and get my energy back. Recently, my husband and I were talking about our goals for the next 20 years of our marriage. I want to be here and with full energy and health to enjoy our future. I spent the first 20 years of our marriage being a hardworking mom of special needs children. I have loved that role very much, but now I have a bit more time to pursue my own interests (a bit more time, I still have much parenting to do). I really do very little for myself. I honestly don't really know how to put myself first and it even sounds a bit icky to me to say that I should put myself first sometimes. I am going to try to keep up with my exercise plan, low calorie diet and really enjoy my walks which is my main "me time". I am feeling a bit better already.
Just so my Mom doesn't worry about me starving myself. This was my breakfast most days this week. It is 254 calories of yummy goodness. (Strawberries, tomato slices, one egg and one oz of bread) |
Me as the crazy Mad Hatter |
Tim as Mr. Spooky, Husband as a Munchkin Game character and Dean as an Aztec Warrior |
Anne as a Vampire |
Tim took cupcakes that he made with Grandma to his brain injury day program's Halloween party. He was a knight for that occasion.
Wednesday is our new crazy day. We have condensed several weekly standing appointments to one day and now spend the whole day on the road. This means that on three other days we will be able to stay home until the late afternoon instead of having an interruption during class time every single day. We are trying it for the month of November. I sure hope it works, since I really need larger blocks of time at home for the kids to get through their work peacefully and at their own pace. Our day is so scheduled that both kids have to be on the road the entire day, because I do not have time to run home to pick up whomever is needed next in between appointments. This means Wednesday is waiting room school for each teen. They liked it this week.
Meanwhile I was playing with settings on my phone. |
All other subjects are rolling along. I am linking with Weekly Wrap-Up.
Blessings, Dawn
I'm sure Wednesdays are hard, but it's great that you were able to put it all into one day!
ReplyDeleteOh! Those Joy Hakim books are so, so, so marvelous!!!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you, and you are daily in my prayers for peace and joy and comfort and inspiration in the hard work you do. This week was my first effort at getting back into running in an effort to get my emotions out of the basement and my brain chemicals back in order, so I understand the challenge of taking time for oneself when the demands at home are still so fierce. I'm not sure it is helping yet, but I remember that it helped in the past, so I'm not giving up, and I'm so blessed to have my husband's full support!
I wish you joy in this November and peace in December. I hope your Goldilocks will find some sort of balance in her heart and mind. We've just been directed to an attachment therapist that takes our kids' state insurance, so I'm hoping for something good to happen there.
Keep up the good work and keep fighting that good fight!
Well, I hope you make it through the month OK! Your breakfast looks delicious and good for you for trying to put yourself first just a bit. My younger two boys went trick or treating buy my teen just walked with us and watched having no desire to get costumed up or ask for free candy. I'm not even sure if the younger two will be interested at all next year.
ReplyDeleteOh how I understand the Nutcracker craziness! Here's hoping it's a smooth month! (I do not miss the Nutcracker craziness...grins).
ReplyDeleteGood job on the healthy eating!