Reality Check

Living with an emotionally disturbed child is very hard at times. This past week Goldilocks has been really difficult. Once she was feeling better from her tonsils being removed, all of the emotional stuff surfaced. She had lied to the doctors about how often she got sore throats, saying she got many of them, which persuaded the doctors to move forward on this surgery. (I suspected this and had made the docs aware of such. However, there were enough other reasons to do the surgery, and I think they decided to believe her rather than me.) After consulting with her mental health team, we decided to proceed with the surgery because of the medical and speech benefits and deal with the fallout later. Hopefully, the surgery will improve her speech and cut down on her other medical issues that may have been associated with the adenoids. Also, it was very hard for her to be nurtured by me for so long. She generally resists being cared for and hates feeling vulnerable. The time has now come for the fallout.

So she has been getting harder to deal with all week and finally blew out completely on Sunday at Grandma's house. She did a very naughty and destructive thing that was not discovered until Monday. I will not say more about the act to protect her privacy, but it was shocking. Grandma is very upset and this will take time to resolve. 

This morning I talked to her about it, and she accused her brother of doing it. After we resolved that he had not done it (we knew he was not guilty but needed her to process it), she finally fessed up. This incident will require several steps to resolve. 

Step 1 ~ She will write a long sorry note to Grandma. She will do this during (instead) of her computer time today.

Step 2 ~ Since she accused him of the deed, her brother will be given her computer time today (a very big deal since they each only get computer time twice a week).

Step 3 ~ She will not be welcome in Grandma's home for several months.

Step 4 ~ When she is welcomed back, she will have to do a job for retribution.

I am writing this here for several reasons ~ this may very well be the first of many behavior plans that need to be written out while we get Goldilocks back on the road. I want to remember this plan so I can carry it out. Also, I think it is important to be somewhat transparent on my blog. Raising special needs kids is so worth it, but it is NOT easy. Sometimes those of us in the trenches can forget that we are not alone. I don't want to give other struggling parents the impression that I know all the answers/tricks and that raising these precious children is easy. This blog is my journal so that my children will have my stories of their childhoods someday. 

With that said ~ We love you, Goldilocks, and you are very much worth the extra effort!

Blessings, Dawn