Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Despair or hope!?!? I choose hope ... Prayer Request

Well, the test results are in on Goldilocks' (6 years) Quantitative EEG.  Simplifying it, the results show that her brain is running in constant slow motion, and the beta waves are in hyper-drive trying to make up for the theta waves being way too slow.  The result is that my little one is in La La Land most of the time because her brain has to constantly reboot.  The doctor said, "Imagine that you have your feet on the gas and brake at the same time. You're not going anywhere and you are using up a huge amount of energy in the bargain."  That is what is happening in my Goldilocks' brain many times an hour.  The result is that she is hopelessly confused most of the time because less than 20% of what she sees/hears makes it into her brain correctly.  On the bright side, although she still has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), many of the behavior problems we are still having with her is because she is just clueless.  In some ways, this is a relief, because it means the efforts we have made actually have been helping to heal her heart and emotions.  It also explains why she seems completely unable to learn the most basic educational things and seems endlessly confused about the smallest details.  Now we just have to figure out how to heal or help her brain function better.  We will now add severe Processing Disorder to her already long list of diagnoses. We will be going forward with a four prong approach -- Neurofeedback (she has been receiving this for 4 months already), Tomatis auditory stimulation, Brain Gym, and an anti-convulsive medication.  (She does not have seizures but her brain is actually trembling from this brain wave assault.) 

What makes me the most upset is what caused this plight.  Once again it is the result of the choices of the birth mother.  Basically, because of her drug and alcohol abuse during her pregnancy, she caused Goldilocks to repeatedly suffocate as a fetus which caused her brain to form incorrectly.  Then after she was born, birth mother fed her nothing but Mountain Dew, chips, and cookies for the first 16 months --  NOT ONE DROP OF BABY FORMULA!!  Of course, she gagged on solid food and vomited.  Consequently, she was extremely anemic, causing more brain damage.  Her brain could not even heal in those early months because it had no nutrition.  My heart just breaks for this little girl.

But one must look at the upside --

  1. We happen to live within miles of one of the best Tomatis and Neurofeedback centers in the country.
  2. She is young and the doctor holds a lot of hope for improvement.
  3. She is homeschooled and can get a lot of one-on-one attention.
  4. God has already performed miracles in this child.
  5. Although RAD is a huge force in her life, she is healing and bonding to us.
  6. I'm used to kids that learn in strange ways.
  7. Her adoption assistance will pay for much of these therapies.
  8. Prayer is powerful.
That's where you come in, folks.  Please pray for our golden-haired little girl with the big blue eyes and the healing heart and disadvantaged brain.  She loves to sing and dance and just wants a chance to have a normal life which so far she hasn't seen.



  1. From your 'upside' list you left out the most important thing. She is loved by YOU! God chose you especially to change her life and to love her the way she deserves. What a wonderful blessing you are. We will pray that His strength will flow into your lives and hers.

  2. Oh that poor sweet little thing! I used to be a public health nurse and worked with mom's like your dd's birth mom. So sad. You are right to look at the bright side of things.


  3. I was so touched to read your post about your little golden-haired girl. After struggling with infertility for years and then experiencing the miracle of God's blessings (3 in fact!), I'm still amazed that a parent could be anything but in awe of the miracle of life.

    I'm so glad Goldilocks now has Godly parents in her life. I will pray for her and for your family as well.

  4. Jesus, Goldilocks is your sweey creation and just as you knit her in her uncooperative BM, you know all her cells and all the dropped stitches. You can help her to pick them up, You alone are able so we trust her into your care and ask your blessing over her and her family as they wait one you.

    Thank you for bringing her into the arms of her mommie that loves her and seeks to do all she can to bring joy and normalcy to her life. Bless all of her efforts Jesus.

    Because of Jesus, Bobbie

  5. Your poor sweet girl. Reading about how her birth mother treated her breaks my heart. Praise God He brought her into your family. I will be praying.